Attempting to Banish Anger

My mom is mad again. I'm trying not to let it get to me. I made a new year's resolution to be a better person. It may not be the new year yet, but I don't care. To me it is.

I already sort-of prayed and sort-of meditated. Basically, I lit a candle and set it in the window, and I set out eight objects: a white rose-shaped floating candle with a petal broken off, to represent truth, because I want to try to find truth; a blue container candle to represent purification, because I want to be a better person; a red candle I lit a lot during Advent that for me, represents giving and caring about others; a pink rose-shaped floating candle in a little red glass tealight candle holder, to represent that I wanted to find love this year, or at least get a boyfriend/girlfriend; a mirror with magnification to represent bringing things into clearer focus; a black-glazed ceramic cat I made in art, to represent that I want to help cats, since they are often forgotten; a nice pendant, because I want to see beauty in the world and create beautiful art and play beautiful music; and a rock with a kanji meaning "friend" that I found in Seattle. Basically, I'm not sure why, but I sort of prayed/meditated on the things I want to happen in the next year. Of course, there's teh classic goal of becoming more fit, but more than that, I want Sapphire to be at a healthy weight for a medium-sized female cat, and Sally to eat more normally.

Isn't it awesome that the last full moon of the year is the last day of the year?

The School Librarian. Ugh...

I don't remember for sure what reminded me of this - oh wait, I read an article about the blue moon this month and looked up pictures of the moon, and then the lunar eclipse, and then the solar eclipse, and that reminded me of Every Soul a Star. That reminded me of my many disagreements with the school librarian.

Where to start...perhaps last year. Last year there were two librarians, but the other one (the nice, reasonable, cat lover who read a lot of the same books) is at a different school every year. So now I have to talk to the other one. For one thing, she has a lisp, which you tend to ignore after a while, but it's kinda annoying, none the less.

Well, I suppose our main quarrel is books. It's not like an ongoing argument, more of a mutual agreement to not talk about books. She loves Every Soul a Star. She hates the Maximum Ride series. Et cetera. The only book/series we agree on is that the Young Wizards series is great, but I think we'd disagree if we went into detail.

Also, she's a dog lover. I hate dog lovers. I can't stand them. They like dogs because of their personality, and I disagree with that sort of person. I don't know why, I just do. Cat lovers however...opposite story.

Of course, she also is rather like my mom in that she takes a debate as argument, and is very easily offended. Me and my friends love debating little things, which the librarian takes as nitpicking/picking a fight and we take as debating/correcting. Again, like my mom. I am being suffocated by these oppresive people.

"I've become so numb,
I can't feel you there.
I've become so tired,
So much more aware.
I'm becoming this,
All I want to do.
Is be more like me
And be less like you." - Numb, Linkin Park.

That is like, my favorite verse out of all the Linkin Park music I've listened to, which I admit isn't much, but hey, how much music can they have performed, anyways?

That verse/refrain/chorus/whatever sooooo sums up my opinion towards these oppressive people.

Bodybuilding can be wrong

Well, something that always bothered me was something my fifth-grade teacher said once. She had a friend who was a female bodybuilder, but she lost muscle intentionally because she thought it wasn't right or something. Well, anyone can bodybuild, not just men.

However, I somehow ran across this picture:

That's just not right. Not because she's a woman, though. It's not right for anyone to have muscles like that. It's creepy. *shivers*


I had a strange breakfast this morning.

I was hungry so I decided to gather food in the kitchen. I ate a bowl of cereal, and then dug two circus peanuts (orange, peanut-shaped marshmallows) and a cherry-flavored candy cane out of my stocking, and then I got a candy-cane shaped cookie from the Christmas cookie box, AKA large tupperware 3d rectangle with layers of frosted sugar cookies seperated by layers of wax paper. I've eaten all except the candy cane now. It was a good breakfast.

I love the holidays, when I can get away with this sort of thing.