Symbols

During Jazz Band (after school band) I saw someone's binder. It had, written rather artfully, "FREAK," written on it. All the bad memories rushed back. And I began to wonder if the universe wanted us to reconcile.

For a while, a dragon-shaped music box she had given me has been looking oddly at me. Well, not exactly. But at any given moment, if I glance over, its eye is sparkling brightly. At one point, the dragon broke. A wing and a spike on the back broke off, as well as some small chips. My mom and I repaired it. Perhaps our friendship can be repaired as well. I really am beginning to wonder if Fate/God/the universe wants us to be friends again. Once I got home, there was something else. It'll take some explaining though.

So once, long ago, I decided to make some perler bead flowers, and I was planning to divvy them between me and my friends, and perhaps we could even use them as a sort of currency, although that was rather far-fetched. Well, I also made the first letter of each of our names, in our favorite colors. Well, probably because of a cat, hers was on the floor, a small letter "E" begging to be noticed. All the other letters seem to be missing.

Now I think of it, at church this weekend (I was forced to go) one of the readings was about how the Holy Spirit gives us each a gift, and we can't...uh...do something I forgot, alone, because no one has all of the gifts. Well, Emily (how strange it is to type her name these days) was always the caring one, the goofy, naive one who was blessed with a lot of friends and a loving family, even though her parents were divorced and remarried. But since she moved back to town, she's been cold. Crueler than she was. Too smart, too perfect to blend in at all. The sort of person you either love or resent. I don't know if I want to be her friend, or if she even has time for a friend who doesn't like to text, or be fasionable, or has wonderful social skills. But what I wanted to do this year was to befriend someone, and maybe I should start with forgetting what happened last year and trying to spend some time with her again.

I hate when I guilt myself into doing something.