Oh, how I long for summertime. It looks so warm outside, but it's 50 degrees. Pretty warm for February, but still...it looks so much warmer. I'm so. frickin. bored. I want to skip ahead a couple of months so I can start a garden or something. However, when I think about what life will be like in a few months, I realize how busy the next few months will be. The end of the year is when everything happens. Thinking about that reminds me I have some schoolwork to finish that is due Monday and will take a while. I want to start on it, but I'm too tired, and just so BORED. I also feel like I need someone to talk to, but at the same time I don't feel like talking to anyone at all. I want to draw something, but what? I just don't feel like doing anything. Maybe it's because there were a couple of weeks when I was pretty busy and I didn't get all my homework done, and now I have ample time and don't really want to do anything. I'm almost wishing there was school today.
Isn't all this strange?
Showing posts with label Time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Time. Show all posts
sooooooooooooooo tired
How long will these cycles go on? Each week, there are five school days, and two days of rest. I spend the school days at school, and often don't come home until late. I spend my weekend doing stupid little things that relieve my stress but waste my time. And every school day, I wake up, sleep in a few minutes, eventually get dressed, get my school stuff together, rarely eat breakfast, and leave for school, one way or another. At school, I go through various classes...band, PE, something fun, english, a lunch break, a couple of interesting but not my favorite classes, and a pretty good last class. Then I usually do something, like piano lessons or jazz band, and go home eventually. I go on the computer, eat while either reading or watching TV, and do homework. I watch TV or go on the computer some more, and then take a shower and go to bed.
This cycle is so pointless. I can't wait for summer. But even then, I will be stuck in a cycle. Perhaps I will never escape.
This cycle is so pointless. I can't wait for summer. But even then, I will be stuck in a cycle. Perhaps I will never escape.
Attempting to Banish Anger
My mom is mad again. I'm trying not to let it get to me. I made a new year's resolution to be a better person. It may not be the new year yet, but I don't care. To me it is.
I already sort-of prayed and sort-of meditated. Basically, I lit a candle and set it in the window, and I set out eight objects: a white rose-shaped floating candle with a petal broken off, to represent truth, because I want to try to find truth; a blue container candle to represent purification, because I want to be a better person; a red candle I lit a lot during Advent that for me, represents giving and caring about others; a pink rose-shaped floating candle in a little red glass tealight candle holder, to represent that I wanted to find love this year, or at least get a boyfriend/girlfriend; a mirror with magnification to represent bringing things into clearer focus; a black-glazed ceramic cat I made in art, to represent that I want to help cats, since they are often forgotten; a nice pendant, because I want to see beauty in the world and create beautiful art and play beautiful music; and a rock with a kanji meaning "friend" that I found in Seattle. Basically, I'm not sure why, but I sort of prayed/meditated on the things I want to happen in the next year. Of course, there's teh classic goal of becoming more fit, but more than that, I want Sapphire to be at a healthy weight for a medium-sized female cat, and Sally to eat more normally.
Isn't it awesome that the last full moon of the year is the last day of the year?
I already sort-of prayed and sort-of meditated. Basically, I lit a candle and set it in the window, and I set out eight objects: a white rose-shaped floating candle with a petal broken off, to represent truth, because I want to try to find truth; a blue container candle to represent purification, because I want to be a better person; a red candle I lit a lot during Advent that for me, represents giving and caring about others; a pink rose-shaped floating candle in a little red glass tealight candle holder, to represent that I wanted to find love this year, or at least get a boyfriend/girlfriend; a mirror with magnification to represent bringing things into clearer focus; a black-glazed ceramic cat I made in art, to represent that I want to help cats, since they are often forgotten; a nice pendant, because I want to see beauty in the world and create beautiful art and play beautiful music; and a rock with a kanji meaning "friend" that I found in Seattle. Basically, I'm not sure why, but I sort of prayed/meditated on the things I want to happen in the next year. Of course, there's teh classic goal of becoming more fit, but more than that, I want Sapphire to be at a healthy weight for a medium-sized female cat, and Sally to eat more normally.
Isn't it awesome that the last full moon of the year is the last day of the year?
Plan # 852 (approximately)
You know how old people think everyone grows up so fast? Well, I know from experience that time seems to get faster as we grow older, but it's only because we're preoccupied. After all, during the summer, when there's nothing to do, I get so frickin' bored, and can't wait for school to start. But other kids who have things to do aren't like that.
So my plan? Instead of expecting to know what time it is, acknowledge I don't know, and look at a clock. This way I'll end up thinking of time as it really is, and when I'm old I'll probably be the only one who doesn't expect kids to be the same height and age a year later. But it is possible to be the same height a year later. I went from being four-foot-ten to four-foot-eleven. You tall people probably don't understand what it's like to be just one inch closer to five feet, and only one inch away after waiting so long to reach five feet. It's agonizing, dammit.
So my plan? Instead of expecting to know what time it is, acknowledge I don't know, and look at a clock. This way I'll end up thinking of time as it really is, and when I'm old I'll probably be the only one who doesn't expect kids to be the same height and age a year later. But it is possible to be the same height a year later. I went from being four-foot-ten to four-foot-eleven. You tall people probably don't understand what it's like to be just one inch closer to five feet, and only one inch away after waiting so long to reach five feet. It's agonizing, dammit.
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